A Want and a Need

Here at HBA, I constantly find myself torn between what I want to do and what I have to do. For example, at this very moment, I’m torn between aimlessly surfing the web [my want] and starting my homework for the night [my need]. Though both are strong motivation to follow through with any given project, I find that neither alone provides enough fuel to ever see something to the end. For example; there are obviously times when I am working on an essay or a problem set that I don’t want to do, but obviously need to do for a grade; I put in the effort necessary of me, but I never go above an beyond to find real meaning for my work, and this usually results in a less than ideal result. However, pure ambition without necessary reason also results in things falling by the wayside; I make a grand attempt every summer to have read every major work of Shakespeare and have failed again and again. Thus, neither the want nor the need ever suffices.
It’s one of those rare occasions when I actually stumble across something that fits into both boundaries, something that I have to do and want to do. With both reason [a need] and will [a want] at stake, I find that satisfactory results are in reach. This is what I want to find for Chinese. The needs I see are a need to satisfy my language citation and to earn some desperately necessary As to pull up my less-than-par GPA. The want is an innate desire to finally conquer some elusive part of my heritage and fill some void created when I dropped out of Chinese school to finally master it. Hopefully, if I can keep reminding myself of these two points, I can finally settle down long enough to accomplish some studying. =]